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Please type back something comforting. It's been 20 years of this bullshit suffering. I wanna heal.fallen, JerrynnHey Jer,Where do I even begin with a guy like you? A four year e-mail and phone affair with a girl from another country? Are you kidding me.

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***QUESTION***

"Now I was skeptical about your book, and planned to ask for a refund if it didn't do anything for me. But after reading it i'm impressed. All that looking around the internet, newsgroups, even buying dating books didn't seem to help. But your guide explained IN ENGLISH and LOGICALLY what is going on. Thank you. I have one question...you never mentioned what to do if after you go to coffee with them they mention they have a boyfriend. I mean some girls honestly seem to think you just want them as a friend... Am I not being funny enough or not sending enough mixed signals?"

***MY COMMENTS***


There are two basic interpretations of this situation. One is that they do, in fact have a boyfriend, and two is that they aren't attracted to you and are just using it as an excuse. I don't usually buy the idea that a woman will meet you for coffee or dinner without mentioning a boyfriend... I mean, there are exceptions, but most women will mention it up front if you're asking them out.

So I'm going to guess that you're doing something during the time you spend with her that gives her that "this guy isn't romance material" vibe. Try being even more cocky and funny, and tell her that she's going to make a nice friend FIRST. Beat her to it. Let me know how this works for you.